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Having written an MA thesis and Grove Booklet on fresh expressions, I felt quite a lot of pressure (mostly self-inflicted) to actually start a fresh expression when I entered ministry 15 months ago. It can be so tempting to start something new because it is fashionable, or because other churches are doing it, or because it is in my job description, or because I – as the new young minister – want it to look like I am leading the church forward.

A recent article on Share suggested that pioneers need to move on to allow the new church to stand on its own feet. I agree with this as long as the reasons for moving are God's reasons and not denominational reasons. Having moved on from my previous church almost a year ago, I have been thinking about what that means from a pioneer's viewpoint.

The question of appropriate liturgies, usually for a proposed Messy Communion, often comes up at training days for Messy Church. There's a divided reaction. The Anglicans take on a hunted air, while those of other denominations just look smug or slightly baffled that such a question should be any sort of a problem. I was chewing floorboards at the question raised at General Synod about Messy Church, which was not along the lines of 'How can we encourage and equip churches in this growth area?', but 'Has the Liturgical Commission considered whether it should produce guidelines or materials which would enable those leading Messy Church events to bring the worship into line with the principles behind Common Worship?'

In spring 2008 I had my first experience of the Fresh Expressions movement when I travelled from Canada to London to meet Ian Mobsby and Tom Gillum. That experience not only changed the way I think about church, it also changed my life. I still remember with great clarity my times of worship with the Moot and St Jude's communities. It was worship in a way I had never known; so different from the formality, stuffiness and the 'clubishness' that we often call traditional church. Instead I found warm and caring communities trying to reach people in new and different ways – but then I realised that it was exactly what Jesus had done and what he continues to encourage us to do as we journey with him.

The fourth annual Anglican Church planting conference, hosted jointly by the Diocese of Toronto and the Wycliffe College Institute of Evangelism, offered great signs of encouragement.

Over the years I have done a number of things in ministry that are very challenging. These have included successfully 'Wimberising' a typical Episcopal parish by introducing healing ministry, worship bands and other influences from the Vineyard. We also built new parish facilities and relocated. However, these things were nowhere near as challenging as planting a new church to reach people no other church is reaching.

When Andrew at Share asked me to write up my thoughts on this subject, I thought I'd scan through the previous blogs to get an idea of length, style, need for wit, wisdom, searing theological insight, blah blah ... and got as far back as the last 25 posts before I realised that only 5 of those 25 are written by women. In fact, casting your eyes back through the past 10 blogs, you'd be hard-pushed to see that women feature at all in fresh expressions. Does this matter to you? How would someone outside the church perceive fresh expressions as an organisation if they read the same part of the website as I did? More importantly, how would they perceive Jesus if we're his reflection, his ambassadors? And is this bias typical of fresh expressions as a whole?

Messy Church is far too much fun to be proper church! Where's the endurance? Where's the grind? Where's the discipline? Why aren't my Puritanical masochistic itches being scratched? Can we really be truly church and still enjoy it so much?